shopping shopping

Ahhh! Here we go. Ok, let's start out by saying that I haven't gone to the mall in a while. In college, there was a point where I would avoid going to the mall on purpose (old school way of not shopping and being content). I figured that if I wasn't seeing all the pretty displays, I wouldn't know what I was missing or what was in style at the time. I used to be the girl who would go maybe 2-3 times a year and get a bundle of "good deals" each time spending $100-200. During this time, I also didn't have Instagram and don't think I even had a smart phone. 

For the past 3 years, the amount of times I've gone to the mall has significantly decreased, and mostly ceased at that. That's thanks to both reducing the amount of stuff I have in my closet and my life and trying to shop more sustainably and small. 

Here comes the kicker. I *love* the thrill of finding the best deal and having a hole or need in my closet and finding JUST the right piece to fill it. I hunt/stalk/search meticulously on websites, secondhand shops, and Instagram resell accounts until I find the piece I think ticks all my boxes. In the meantime, I'm also seeing other ways people are styling the pieces they have and thinking, "Oh, I have this and that, but if I have THAT I can wear that look 5 new ways!" And on and on it goes. Never ending. Which made me stop one day and take note of what I was doing.

For a living, I love finding holes and gaps in people's businesses and taking an objective perspective on helping them. I have been forced to do that with my own life and have found some not so exciting realities. 

Real talk: being present online has created this weird obsession with what I don't have. While I'm trying to shop sustainably, small, and more intentionally, I'm still working within the mentality of a void. Something is missing. However...

My life is so so full. Full with people who love me, full with adventures ready to be had, full with delicious food and a caring husband, full of friends and family spending time with me, and the list goes on. I want to be focusing on those things and not the gaps in my closet that "NEED" (insert eye roll here) to be filled. 

I'm exhausted from living in a constant place of emptiness. It has taken a toll on my spirit and I think unnecessarily so. We have the choice to take control over our mindsets. It's a slow process, but one that I'm committed to. 

Caroline from Un-Fancy has some great tips and one of them is to unsubscribe from any newsletters tempting you to see what you're "missing." While I think I've found some great shopping accounts online, I think for me what that looks like is to stop following them for a bit and focus on what I do have. There's this sense when looking at that of "I might miss something if I don't constantly check them" (To be honest, I've missed a couple Unicorn pieces when I have been less active, but oh well, I've lived life more fully).

On a final note: I think that it is so easy to avoid this mentality and just tip toe around it - not really evaluating how it impacts your life. However, I would encourage you to take inventory and really check yourself to determine if you might be living in this void. I know that what you may find may not be pretty, but friend, you are not alone. This is a journey that you don't have to take by yourself. Let's continue to support each other and remain accountable to those goals.