when it's cold, I wear black pants

Having a slim wardrobe or a capsule has forced me to look more intentionally at my closet. How it works well together, where the gaps might be, and how it makes me feel on any given day. I don’t think I ever have spent this much time thinking about those things previously. I probably could have very easily done so before, but I didn’t and therefore continued to spend cluelessly.

Last winter during a 10x10 challenge, I picked a pair of blue jeans. I picked them because I wanted to wear a black kimono and I didn’t think I’d like it with black pants. Sure enough, I didn’t (like the kimono with black pants) but I liked the classic style of a black top layer. But it just felt forced and not me. I wasn’t comfortable in it. This fall, I thought back on that challenge and just realized I don’t like my blue jeans when it’s cold - it just feels too summery for me. I don’t know why, but it just does for me and that’s ok.

This week I did pull out a pair of grey jeans, and I like the more muted and darker vibes from those. And of course, my beloved black jeans. Which, oddly enough, the one pair of black jeans I had, always stretched out on me and looked so sloppy. I found a pair of beautifully handmade jeans from Buffalo Exchange earlier this year and upon seeing a tag with handwritten dimensions, knew time was taken into crafting these jeans. They fit like a glove and they have since replaced my now fading and stretched out black jeans. I still have those older ones because they’ll work great for maternity jeans one day with a lot of stretch and give. Not all is wasted and it’ll be a great way to give them life again.

I recently saw a bunch of bloggers blow up my feed with reviews of the new Vetta oversized sweater. The first time I saw it, it wasn't even a full shot of the sweater - it was a close up of the fabric and I was all heart eyes over it. It then popped up again and again and the versatility won me over. Lee from StyleBee just posted a review about it in two different colors and I'm torn. I’m over here planning my one day purchase and realize that I have an oversized grey turtleneck but it doesn't have the capability of being so versatile like Vetta’s new sweater. But the other option is black. Eesh. I’m not one who does black on black well or comfortably. If I get black, will I really wear it? It doesn't’ seem right. Either option doesn't seem ideal, but I love love love this sweater.

My thoughts may seem trivial to some, but old me would have just purchased another one no questions asked. New me knows my closet so well and all it’s gaps and quirks and habits and tendencies. I’d like to be able to consider that a win and a step in the right direction. It has caused me to slow down long enough and be more intentional with how I buy things and really take a long and hard look at it before I buy. Even to the extent of do I really even need it? Or is it simply beautiful and that my desire is to support a great company? There can be companies out there that you want to support and are worth it, but do you really need that thing? And regardless, what is that decision doing to your mindset? Is it further fueling the consumeristic approach that we are so desperately trying to fight against? Even the best-intended purchases can be debilitating towards the positive steps we’ve made in being more conscious.

For now, I will continue looking at that beautiful sweater and admire it from afar. I will love the grey sweater I own and appreciate it for keeping me warm. Sometimes I think we need to just pause, take note of how we're feeling, speak it out into the airwaves, and then be ok moving on (no FOMO here). How about you? Do you have something you've been lusting after but know it's not practical? Maybe it is practical, but you've made a commitment to not making any more purchases. I know that's how I feel about a couple things. But if I've learned anything this season it's that everything is going to be ok. Me buying or not buying that *thing* is not going to define me. I will be ok and life will move on. BUT - if I don't recognize that and step outside myself long enough to see that, I'm wrecked. If you need help stepping outside yourself today, speak it out and we'll stand together.